Numb
by benrhino
Summary: Where did it all go wrong? I was the lone wolf, but without her I am simply numb. Rated T for refrences to drugs and sex. A sorratto one/possible twoshot
1. Chapter 1

_78I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
I've become so numb_

120…130…140. The needle kept climbing.

The bike just ate up tarmac. Maybe if I kept accelerating this bike would go all delorean on my ass and take me back. About 5 years is right. Back before me and the band blew up. I smirked behind the visor, that would do me just fine.

Then, instead of doing a Michael J Fox and ignoring people like the plague I could ask them to sum me up in one word. The over whelming one would be rebellious.

Whether it was spiking up my hair, getting the first motorbike I could always use the excuse of being from a broken family.

I also started a band. We were the wolfpack. That was the start I suppose.

It had started raining now, only I was too caught up in myself as usual.

We started small, you have to, you can't just become famous overnight. We played at parties, get-togethers at first. Then we found our way onto the local club circuit. Life was good. The lone wolf no longer thought he was cool, he _was _cool.

And it showed, people wanting my autograph wanting to come back stage. Women beating down my door. It seemed like every woman in Odaiba. Except the one I wanted to be outside my door.

So I asked her. Our first big gig. She got a backstage pass and the works. We did our set, I swear it was the best I had ever performed. The music felt so raw, the emotion coming to the forefront. I wanted her to feel it. And at the end when I crouched at the front of the stage, I looked at her. Into those eyes that as a strong, independent tomboy gave away so little. And they had melted.

I reached out a hand, helping her onto the stage. She nervously brushed a bang that had dropped into her eye line. Her hair was beautiful, she really shouldn't wear a hat as much as she does.

She had her hand nervously clasped in front of her now, nut I could tell, the ol' blue eyes were doing the trick. She was lost in them just as I was engulfed by her beauty. After a minute, a second, an hour, a place in time so perfect it is impossible to measure we kissed.

And I knew somewhere in that crowd his heart broke, perhaps that was the birth of Ishida the bastard, because I didn't care about his feelings. She was mine, and I was happy.

Life was good, the band went from strength to strength we got signed to a big label. That was mistake number two. Then came our first hit, it was called Howlin' at the Moon (Missing you). It topped the charts, and our agent insisted on a tour.

We were four young men, this was a dream come true, and a free holiday for me and Sora. That is after I had persuaded our new manager to let her come. At the time I could not understand why he was dead set against her coming with us.

On the first night in Tokoyo I understood why. Boybands are aimed at young women, and what apart from the music, do young women like about boybands.

It is that its members are young, cute and available, or in my case the illusion that I was exactly that. And unfortunately Sora broke that Illusion. That was strike one

But we got over it for a bit. Now onto the next cliché. Say the next word that comes into your head. Rock. Frontman. My band.

It went to my head. I was pack leader, the one who all the Underwear, love letters and Talk show Interviews went. In the space of 12 months the band were at breaking point. We had women, money, free stuff. But friends, nah that wasn't on the list. This is showbiz, who needs them. I was the one the fans loved, if _when_ this fell through I would simply go solo. Lone wolf, selfish predator.

That was strike two._ I was more than half way there now._

But the third strike was the worst. Like the death toll of a bell, it signalled the end.

I did what is known in the industry as a Kurt. The Drugs.

I was hooked, more than your average junkie, I was a Zombie. While I shot up she cried in the spare room of the beach house we shared. Until the crying stopped. I didn't care why maybe she was happy. Or maybe I was too gone to notice she had packed up and left.

That didn't help at first, the drinking smoking and drugs multiplied, but so did my "Friends"

And the women. They gave me what I want, didn't whinge, or cry or hit me in the chest in a desperate attempt to knock sense into me. They came in one bedroom door, and out the other.

Until my housemaid found me face down in my own vomit. The next day, laying in my hospital bed, no one was coming through the door, especially not the girl I wanted, no needed. I had slept with all those other women because I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb.

_The next turn off I think_.

I had done the full rockstar 360, from humble beginnings, to megastar, to telling everyone in the clinic "Hi my names Yamotto Ishida and I'm an everything that's gonna kill me –aholic.

But I still loved the same girl, and now I was tearing back to where it all began, in the hope that see would be sat in that flowershop.

_Thanks for reading this is my first trip into romance for a long time, and first ever in the digimon fandom, and to be honest I'm not completely happy with it. So I would love to know what you guys think. This does have the potential for a twoshot._


	2. Chapter 2

Two years ago, hell just twelve months ago Sora Takenouchi, that's me would have givenanything to have been anywhere except the family flower shop. Yet as the lock scraped back and I was met by the familiar tinkle of a bell I couldn't help but whistle a happy tune.

Sure I wasn't a rockstars girlfriend anymore, didn't have someone to drive me around in a flash car, I couldn't even afford a car. But I was happy.

Because there was no flying from state to state, no papparazi, no drug fuelled parties and no having to be the perfect plastic girl for Matt. Matt. He cheated, he lied. But it wasn't him. It was the stuff the drugs. But when he had the choice, he chose the white stuff over me…and I thought he loved me, like I loved him.

_Ding-Ding _"Sor" an all too familiar voice came floating through the shop". "That new delivery is here." Tai showing up was enough to bring away from the stop of the slipperly slope. I wondered to the front of the shop and took the box of flowers from the man's arms. He flashed a smile, not the sharp, enticing smile of Matt. Tai's was different. His smile was full of warmth and boyish charm. That was probably because he was the same as he had been since I'd known him, give or take a pair of goggles. Tai was still the fiercely loyal bundle of headstrong energy we all know and love.

_Maybe that was why he was the first person I called the night I left my crazy life. They day before I found Matt in bed with another blonde groupie bitch. I knew it was happening, but this was the first time._

"_What the hell Matt?" I screamed as he leapt from the bed with nothing but the thin sheet for protection. And believe me, he was gonna need more if I had my way._

"_Sora…baby" he advanced at me, only to see me take a step out of the door jorming and slam the door in his face._

"_Ha, with any look you've caught something as well. Drugs STD's am I still number one on your will Matt?" Somewhere inside I knew that had gone too far. This was months worth of putting up with a drugged up arrogant love rat coming to the fore._

_But it definitely hurt Matt, who bull rushed the door. I stood there shocked as he grabbed my arm._

"_How dare you…I gave you everything, If it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck in a flower shop with a wannabe soccer player hanging at your heels!"_

_My wrist was burning now. His eyes, those trademark blue eyes, were cold hard and lifeless. I spat and there was an awful sound of flesh on flesh as his left hand whipped across my face, sending me sprawling to the floor. Then the man I loved turned his back on and shut the door. _

_For the first time in years, I cried._

_Matt didn't emerge from the bedroom again, neither did the bimbo. That suited me. I didn't know where I was going to go, I didn't know how, but I knew I had to go._

_I made my way out of the flat, and thankfully didn't bump into anyone all the way down the hallway, or in the lift. There was a Taxi Rank outside, and I almost dived in the back. Trying to hide my face from the driver I rummaged for my purse. There was money there, but I was miles from home. I just thrust the notes I had into his hand. He would take me as far as he could. I rummaged back through my bag, finding a mobile. I didn't have many friends that weren't Matts friends. Mimi was on the other side of the world. Izzy was at College. Joe was in Uganda the last time I'd heard. That only left the man whose heart I had broken, who I had left behind for this glorious life. How ironic. It would mean going home. Odaiba isn't a long way from Tokyo geographically, but it felt a million miles away in my heart._

_I swallowed my pride and hit call._

"_Hello this is Tai Kamiya, can I help you?" I froze, a great big lump stopping any words from leaving my throat._

_He dint even have my number in his phone anymore_

"_Hello…Davis if this is you and your stupid mates I'll tell them all about your little locker room showers incident you little prick."_

_His voice washed over me like sweet honey, for the first time in weeks I laughed._

"_Sora, is that you". He knew me just from a laugh, "are you okay"_

_I didn't know what to tell him, my resolve broken. "No Tai no I'm not." My eyes were burning again._

"_Is it Matt? Is he ok, you haven't killed him have you?"_

"_Sora?" my chocked laugh must have scared him because he still sounded worried. There was a service station about a mile up the road. I motioned for the driver to stop there._

"_Tai, can you come pick me up from the north town Odaiba service station?" my voice was soft, he and I knew this wasn't somewhere you wanted to stop long unless you were a burly truck driver. My request was met by the scraping of a chair and a dangling of keys. "Be there in 10"_

_He was there in 8._

"_Whats a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?"_

_I turned to face him and the silly lopsided grin fell of his face. "I look a mess." I grimaced, concesiously tucking a stray auburn hair back behind my ear. He stared at me and I stared at him, his goofy smile, that ridiculous hair and the audacity to wear shorts at 11 o'clock at night. He hadn't changed a bit. Tears began to flow freely "You came". _

"_You sound surprised" We hugged, and hugged. And even though he knew just by looking what Matt had done to me all he wanted to do was get me home._

Looking back Tai had changed. He had matured.

"Sora, you who" I said that's thew last of the delivery. "You really are daydreaming today".

He would never abandon any of us. He was even working in the boring old flower shop. I never thought I'd see the day.

_That's a side of the story Matt didn't let us in on. Sorry for the long delay, I really was on the fence about continuing this. And sorry Matt Fans I reallydont hate him, and neither I think does Sora. Tai might just want to break his nose._


	3. Chapter 3

Enough to make your blood boil, enough to make your Heart Break

_Tai's POV_

I flashed a grin at the auburn haired owner and proprietor of Takenouchi's Tulips as I placed the final pallet from the delivery on the shop counter. I knew Sora would now spend hours sorting them into arrangements and bunches. She must have found something therapeutic in the actions. Whatever the case it made her smile, and that in itself was a minor miracle. Since coming home her mother had signed over the flower shop to her daughter. To those outside the loop it seemed an odd decision. The teenage tearaway getting given something she had tried so hard to get away from, and all this after her rumoured drug addled party fuelled life had gone under, and she was forced to come crawling back.

I inwardly grimaced. If only they knew. Maybe then they could start to understand.

This flower shop gave her a focus, a drive. And it was something on which she thrived. Profit margins attested to that. But Tai and Mrs Takenouchi knew that the shop was more important than that. It was a rock, a tie, a link, which would mentally keep Sora in Odaiba, at least until she was ready to move on. When she once more resented the shop, they would know she was back to her old self.

I watched as Sora wondered into the back room before return with a couple of plant pots and s trowel.

"Cant that wait, I want a cup of coffee" I tried to protest as she thrust another trowel my way.

She just raised an eyebrow. "Scared of getting your hands dirty?"

I mocked offence and reluctantly went to accept the trowel, only to be interrupted by the buzzing of a phone in my pocket.

"One minute" I fished it from my pocket.

_Tai_

_Forgot to feed Miko. Can you do it please?_

_Mum_

Why she felt the need to put mum at the end of the text I do not know. What I do know, Is I didn't want to have to explain to Kari why Miko had eaten the goldfish…again. After all that was what had happened last time no one had fed him. Only this time the blame would fall squarely on my shoulders.

"Yoink, whose your girlfriend" Sora jabbed whilst swiftly snatching the phone from my hand.

"So this Miko, wattya going to feed her, your…"

"Very funny" I rolled my eyes as she scanned the text. "I'll only be 15 minutes, 20 tops"

Sora rolled her eyes and then glanced at the door. "Be back in ten our I'll dock your wages Kamiya"

With that blessing I sprinted out the shop and down the street in a lung bursting effort to get back to my apartment. After fishing out my keys to let myself in a was met by a pining Miko. Eyes like pools staring up at me.

"Don't stare at me like that" I scowled, but really the cat had my weakspot. I could never leave people in distress.

As I stomped around the kitchen, slamming cupboard doors and searching in every drawer for the tin opener I remembered the last time I had sprinted to help someone in distress.

That someone was of course Sora. And she was in danger from far more than not being fed.

Thinking back now, it was weird how two friend, two best friends, hell even three if you count Matt could drift so far apart. I always thought of them as cowardly. Running away after they had broken my heart. I could still remember that night. She wasn't even going to go to that concert. Grunge wasn't really her thing. It wasn't mine either, but I thought it was important to support Matt. Besides, however much T.K. annoyed me sometimes, I couldn't leave him in one of those mosh pits by himself.

As much as I wanted to blame myself, how was I to know what was going to happen? I watched as he helped her onto the stage, as he whispered sweet nothings, as they kissed. As he stabbed me in the back.

What hurt most is that he knew I had feelings for her. He didn't even warn me. He knew I was there, looking on. They both did. Suddenly I didn't care about T.K. and the headbangers, I just pushed my way out of the club.

Things went from success to even bigger success for them it seemed, until I stopped taking notice. I redoubled my efforts to forget, worked harder at school, worked harder at Soccer. And deleted both their numbers out of my phone.

Things were good. My grades had improved and I was close to getting a pro football contract, with several clubs scouting me in my final few games. And although you can never forget old friends, especially after what we had been through, I was at least doing my best to live without was by complete coincidence then that one night after soccer training I flopped on the sofa to be met by a flash of blonde hair and those piercing blue eyes from the cover of one of Kari's glossy magazines. It took a second to register the title.

_WolfPack frontman struggles with addiction_.

I swiftly yanked the magazine from Kari's hands, ignoring her complaints, and thumbed through to the correct page.

_Matt Ishida, ex frontman of the Chart Topping band the WolfPack, who we exclusively told you last month broke up, is apparently being urged by friends, former band members and his long time girlfriend Sora Takenouchi to check himself into rehab._

I scanned it again just to make sure, then I flopped back and ran my hands through my hair. Kari nodded, she was thinking exactly the same thing. "How the hell did we not know?" It goes without saying I didn't sleep much that night. Partly because I blamed myself, and partly because I spent half the time trying to summon up the courage to text Sora, only to find I no longer possessed her number. I had probably deleted it in a fit of rage, how the daily grind set back in and I forget about them, for the most part. Then, about a week later, when I was slobbed out on the sofa, all ready to watch Japans Pool game when my mobile rang, sending vibration like a sea of pins and needles through my leg.

I lazily fished it from my pocket and stared at the string of numbers on the flashing screen. I was in too minds, Davis had taken to prank calling me recently. I tentatively pressed the green button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello…" there was no answer, and I was met only by the sound of heavy breathing, like whoever was on the other end had just finished a marathon. "Listen Davis you little prick stop prank calling or I'll tell all your mates about that little incident in the showers.

"Tai…?" a small voice responded to my tirade from the other end of the phone. But the voice was so small, so timid, so tiny, that if it hadn't have belonged to someone I had known all my life then I wouldn't have recognised it.

"Sora, are you okay?" then remembering the glossy article… "Is Matt o.k.?" I heard a stifled sob. "Yeah Tai we're fine, but can you come pick me up from the north Odaiba truck stop." I didn't ask why, I didn't moan about the time of night, I simply left her with a "be there in 10" and a jangle of keys.

As a raced along the road a million and one thoughts buzzed around my head like a swarm of angry mosquitoes. It was the middle of the night, and Sora was arguably in the roughest part of the entire city. What could have possibly have happened? I didn't really won't to think about that, as the potential options would send a chill down my spine to cool even Agumon fiery breath. Instead I redoubled my efforts, nudging the accelerator closer to the floor.

Not long after I pulled into the truckstop, and pushing open the swing door, I instantly recognised the long auburn hair that was no longer restrained by that trademark blue hat. She was facing away from me sat at a stool, slumped on the bar. I slowly made my way over, grinning, this was someone so special to me, who I had not seen In such a long time. It filled me with joy.

Grinning I quipped "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" she turned and I scanned her face, she looked tired, that was to be expected, but she still felt strong enough to launch herself into a hug. I returned it, still grinning. But I hadn't not noticed the large red welt on the side of her face, and the joy within me was replaced by rage. I wanted to kill, to hurt him, to make him pay. But that wasn't what she wanted right now, what she needed right now. So I hid all that anger behind a cheery smile and didn't even mention it, not at first. I drove her back to my house, assuming she didn't feel like dealing with her mother, and that night she slept peacefully, while I slept on the sofa, stewing.

But that was a Iong time ago now, and as I was brought out of my reminiscing by the sound of an impatient knocking, I couldn't help but smile. The knocking still continued "I'm coming I'm coming" Not for the first time, I wished our apartment door had a spyhole.


	4. Chapter 4

"Yeah yeah I'm coming" Tai pulled himself from thoughts of the past in order to attend to the increasingly more impatient knocking at the door.

Most people knew that generally, there would not be a member of the Yagami household in at this time of day. And like most people he didn't take kindly to people trying to bray the door unless impending digimon-related Armageddon was once again occurring, and Tai was pretty sure that was not the case.

"What" he somewhat snapped as the door swept back, revealing a motorcyclist and leaving a frustrated Tai staring at his own reflection in a dark tinted visor.

"Sorry buddy, I haven't ordered a pizza, and if you've broken down there's a garage just around the corner, but I really have to get back to work." But before Tai could even take a step out the door a gloved hand shoved him roughly on the chest

"You mean you need to get back to her" an all too familiar voice, even though Tai had not heard it for years there was still a streak of cold indifference bwhich was impossible to misplace.

"Matt?" It was less of a question and more an expression of his own astonishment. He was soon answered as his surprise visitor smoothly slid the full face helmet from his head. If Tai had not known the ins and outs of the last year of the heartthrobs rollercoaster of a life the two old friends would now likely have been embracing. As it was Tai did what he had wanted to do for a long time. Those blue eyes, nowadays rimmed with black, made such a wonderful target. It landed with a satisfying thud. Matt didn't make any attempt to move that wasn't much of a surprise, but in one of the many changes since they were kids, he didn't throw one back.

"I deserved that." Tai resisted the urge to verbally agree, and invited a clearly broken man inside.

_A quick chapter due to lack of time, one more to go, Matt and Sora, will they reunite?_


End file.
